Every Boyfriends WORST enemy, Her EX-BOYFRIEND!

He is just a frieeeeeend!, those  are by far the  second worst group of words any girl can tell you about some cooler-than-you-looking dude who hugged her at some event, proceeded to give you a brotherly pound or fist pump, firm handshake (whatever your age group is into)  and happened to be  MAIN MAN at the event.

Oh yes, “he is just a friend” being referred to a guy who looks like The Mighty Thor compared to you who would be in this case,  a hybrid of the power puff girls and  the teddy bears from Bananas in Pyjamas. Oh yes, people, “He is just a friend” coming from your beloved girlfriend, only comes second to this very popular phrase that girls seem to say in a fake indifference/its not a big deal/ stop tripping tone when you ask her “Where do you even know him from?” and she says… “ah, he is just my ex Boyfriend…” 

AAAGGGGGH! “he is my Ex” takes the cup from “He is just a friend” on any given Sunday, or any day of the week for that!

I was inspired to write this post after this lovely girl I know seemed to take to the habit of texting me at hours only people who are dating are supposed to be awake chatting to each other, (around 10-11pm if you haven’t got it by now). I happen to have an open door policy to chatting at such hours to any girl on two conditions, that is, you are my girlfriend/are soon to be and…you are my girlfried/are soon to be one, yeap, just those two. I had to decline the pleasure of talking to this young lady because she had a boyfriend. Not that she was making any advances or that I had any motives to court her but I was defending the right for her boyfriend to be her one and only go to person for evening texts and also to defend my right against pointless "...kkkkk’s..." and the never ending stuff insomniac girls go on about. Ex-boyfriends, however,  somehow think that they have no need to act likewise, but today, I declare that they should STOOOOP IT!

HEY YOU...Psssss! YES..YOU...Mr Ex Boyfriend of My girlfriend! Here is why I don’t like you

You are taller than me!

courtesy of http://everythingclosetomyheart.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-woes-of-tall-girl.html 

Okay, I just used height here because I am just below the average male height. In this world, one should often be happy that he is better than the Ex, mostly because, by being the next man, you represent the decisions that your  current girl made when she was Older (even if by a day), wiser, (unlikely if it was in a day) and smarter! Good for you, Yay! 

BUT… you know how we chase for the bright lights and that’s what's attractive and how we then find out after life has given us a good hiding for being  thing-lovers that life on this earth is about buying a fuel saving Toyota rather than a Diesel guzzling Hummer? Well, The Ex Boyfriend is the Hummer she once owned, who wasn’t good for her, who she chose because he was bigger, better, more attractive (than you) and when he would pull up, all the girls would want a ride… You on the other hand, are that Fuel efficient Toyota, the smarter decision, the one who will be for the long haul, the one she can have her kids with and wont break her heart or attract too much attention…oh yes, You, Mr Toyota Corolla, are the good guy,you should feel good about it….until one day at the traffic lights, Mr Hummer stops beside you, revs and says… “you have her now…. But I’m still taller little punk!”  And  for some strange reason, when this happens, you can almost feel like your girl friend, his ex, got hazy eyed in the awe of her former love..however misguided about life she was when she had him.... in plain English, You are better than Him but.. He is just Cooler than you..feel me?

Ex dudes just don’t play fair sometimes

You broke her heart, can you please delete her number so I can fix whatever crappy organ you left! I live by a forgotten guy code rule that says When a guy breaks up with a girl, He should lose her number, unfriend her, unfriend her sister, cousin, unfollow her, unlike that page she created dedicated so that stuff you really never paid attention to anyway.  Pretty much, go to Will Smith at the Men in Black Head Quarter offices, kindly ask for that memory erasing flash pen, look at it dead in its lens and press the shutter! Most ex’s hate playing by that rule, Oooh they just love being in the picture, Literally!  The guy will tag her in pics that she doesn’t seem to appear in, oh, he will throw in “throw back Thursday” for good measure. He will keep that number and text her to remind her how they used to… oh I cant even think of it! You get the idea. I usually don’t have kind words for girls who tolerate their ex’s but today, If you are an ex, STAY AWAY FROM MY GIRL…you seemed very good at NOT texting her  when you were dating, stop trying to play goody now!

Her friends liked him more than you because he had a…

Car, used to get them in the club for free, worked at this cool place so he could take them all out, (something that your broke rump cant do), He had richer parents, lived on his own. The list is endless. Its almost as if ALL her friends were invested in him, the guy was Captain  America and you are like Alpha from the Power Rangers. To her vain friends, you are the downgrade they have to live with because their friend settled for you... the nice guy...the one where "its all about the insiiiiide" not his wallet..

Oh yah, and then there is the fact that he "HIT IT" first…

So we live in a day and age where premarital bang bang has been normalised,  where sex is just a thing people who date do. So, there is a likelihood that these days, if you are eighteen and above, that you have already had sex before or the girl / guy who is yours, has had sex before, and not with you. Society may make it seem like its easy to just deal with but for some guys, its hard to shake off the feeling that someone can come on and say "yeah, I hit it first". So some may say, "Who cares who she slept with first?" Let me explain it.
The world as we know it has based a lot of bragging rights plus much acclaim, discovery and ownership on whoever was the FIRST to do something. Everything from discovering new continents, the first man in space, the first man on the moon! The first Black president of the USA! A lot of things in a guys mind play around being the first to do something. Her ex, if he was the first guy she slept with, will always make you feel like the first princess in a beauty pageant who only becomes Queen after the actual winner gets disqualified for bad behavior. Thats not even the worst part, some times the world reminds you that no matter what, you are number 2, or even worse, number 1 + x (where x can be any number!). Ask Kanye West, His wife'a ex boyfriend did not make it  secret that he wanted to remind Mr West that he slept with the girl before he did... At Glastonbury festival, a fan waved this really large banner with a pic of Kim performing a sexual act from the sex tape that leaked of her and Ray J....while KANYE WAS PERFORMING! Imagine that as a reminder! 

But is it really justified?

I dont quite know, It may have something to do with jealousy, which is not always a good thing, it might be an insecurity thing. 

How can it be solved?

If the presence of ex seems to be a spanner in the works, then it could be that, you are really not being reasonable or she has not gotten over him and somehow, he is always around. What to do about it?

Well, you could share the post or comment.... hihihi!

glad to be back!